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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sports. Let me tell you about them...

There was once a little girl named Kaitlin Elise Smith. She wanted to be an artist when she grew up. Her mom put her in dance classes.

This is her, in the blue skirt. She is standing next to her little sister and her cute cousin, Natty B.
Kaitlin was never a very good dancer. Soon she read the books Matilda and The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and became obsessed with reading every book she wanted to. (It's apparent she thought they would give her some sort of magical powers, Roald Dahl's books deemed it would be so.) She had a stack of books. She hid out in her room like a hermit, just reading them all.

Her dad, David, had a love of fishing and sports. He bled BYU cougar blue. He had two season tickets to watch his beloved football team play every season, every game. He married into a BYU football family, and he got some pretty swell seats out of the deal too.

His wife gave birth to four girls.
Then David took turns taking those girls to BYU football games. He'd watch Utah Jazz games with them too.

Even though Kaitlin was often in her room being a hermit, she watched sports with her dad, and even though she never played sports and was a failed dancer/artist, she loved to watch sports. Her favorites were BYU vs. Utah and the Utah Jazz in the NBA finals.

That is how it all began.

Kait's oversimplified, childlike caboodle of the NBA:

This is Kobe, Kobe Bryant
In the NBA, sometimes players have one name only. Kobe and Lebron are sort of like Cher and Madonna. Kobe is the sworn enemy to this man, Raja Bell:
Who has just gone to Kaitlin's favorite basketball team in the world, the Utah Jazz.

This is Deron Williams
He is a leader. He is the team's heart.
He is down-to-earth: He chills with the crowd and is goofy. He has the best crossover the NBA's seen in years.

This is Dwight Howard
He is Chuck Norris, John Stossel, Malcolm Reynolds, and Jack Bauer, all rolled into one glorious NBA player.
Dwight Howard does not play for the Jazz. If he did, the Jazz would be so awesome, the NBA could not contain them.

This is John Stockton
He was and is fantastic. He made little Kaitlin want to quit being a hermit and join the Junior Jazz (she didn't quit being a hermit for a while though.)

Good Report and Praiseworthy:

Even if you don't like sports, I'd suggest watching them with a die-hard sports fan sometime. Then you might learn to like sports too. Or you might just do it to archeologically psychoanalize human behavior. Or you could be a detective like me.

Older Kaitlin didn't learn after the Roald Dahl experience. After she read every Sherlock Holmes story in high school, she decided the life of a private investigator was her dream job.


  1. Hahaha, I love the part about Dwight Howard. I'm trying to imagine a Frankenstein made up from the parts of all those people...

  2. You are terribly hilarious, Kait. I'm so happy you are my cousin :) My favorite line is "His wife gave birth to four girls." Because, that, my friends, pretty much sums up the life of the David and Tammy Smith family. You guys are anything but a family full of girls. I don't think anyone could ever describe how awesomely well rounded each of you are. You guys are my idols. If I had had only girls, I would have raised them the same way your folks raised you guys. :) (good thing I have V, though - Russ might have gone crazy without a boy 8-o )

  3. Kait, I love this. But I must disagree about your being a failed artist and a failed dancer. You still hold the talents for these things, too, and can always make the decision to take them up again! I still think of you as a budding artist!
    And you are definitely a wonderful writer!
    Glad you love sports. Kind of couldn't get around that one. You inherited it from BOTH sides of the family!

  4. Kaitypants, you are *so* an artist.
    I LOVE the way you presented this.
    One simple line or two, then a photo!
    I'm so visual so I adore that, and it's just this awesome photo story, step by step.
    If you did other sports like this, I might care about them!
    Now I will forever remember Dwight Howard's name. And we don't even see baseball here.
    Oh and that small quadrant of Chuck Norris and the other guys was splendid.

    I love this and want more. Your voice is all your own!



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